Metta Meditation: How to Practise Loving-Kindness Step by Step

Metta meditation from the Buddha's teaching: what loving-kindness is, how to practise it step by step, the phrases, and its eleven benefits

Metta meditation is the practice of developing mettā, loving-kindness: a warm, steady wish that beings be happy and safe. It is one of the oldest forms of Buddhist meditation and one of the most practical, because it works directly on irritation, resentment and harshness toward yourself, the states that most often trouble a meditator. In Pali it is called mettā-bhāvanā, the cultivation of loving-kindness, and in English it is often called loving-kindness meditation. This guide explains what metta is and what it is not, how the Buddha describes it, how to practise metta meditation step by step, the phrases people use, the eleven benefits the suttas list, and the near and far enemies the Visuddhimagga warns about.

What metta is, and what it is not

The word mettā is related to mitta, a friend. It is friendliness in the full sense: wishing someone well simply because they, like you, want to be happy and do not want to suffer. It is the first of the four divine abidings (brahmavihāra), together with compassion, gladness at the good fortune of others, and equanimity. Some things are easily mistaken for it:

• Liking everyone. You can wish a person well without approving of what they do or wanting to spend time with them.
• Attachment. Affection that clings and wants something back feels close to metta but is different in kind; the Visuddhimagga calls it metta's near enemy.
• Being a doormat. Goodwill can say no and set limits and still wish the other person no harm.
• Forced cheerfulness. If the phrases feel empty, the practice is to keep the intention, not to manufacture a feeling.
• Something only for others. The classic method begins with yourself.

Metta in the Karaniya Metta Sutta

The best-known teaching on metta is the Karaṇīya Metta Sutta (Snp 1.8), chanted across the Theravada world. It begins not with meditation but with conduct: a person who wants to reach the state of peace should be capable, upright, easy to speak to, gentle, content and easy to support, and should not do the slightest thing the wise would criticise. Only then come the wishes: may all beings be happy and safe, whatever living creatures there are, weak or strong, long or short, seen or unseen, far or near, born or yet to be born.

Mātā yathā niyaṁ puttam
Āyusā ekaputtamanurakkhe;
Evampi sabbabhūtesu,
Mānasaṁ bhāvaye aparimāṇaṁ.
Mettañca sabbalokasmi,
Mānasaṁ bhāvaye aparimāṇaṁ;
Uddhaṁ adho ca tiriyañca,
Asambādhaṁ averamasapattaṁ.

As a mother would protect her own child, her only child, with her life, so toward all beings one should develop a boundless heart. With loving-kindness for the whole world one should develop a boundless heart, above, below and all around, unconfined, without hatred and without enmity.

Snp 1.8

Two points from the sutta shape the whole practice. The heart is to be boundless (aparimāṇa), leaving no one out. And metta is not only for the meditation cushion: the next verse says to keep this mindfulness standing, walking, sitting or lying down, for as long as you are not drowsy, and calls it a divine abiding here and now.

How to practise metta meditation step by step

The method of metta meditation most teachers use comes from the Visuddhimagga, the fifth-century manual by Buddhaghosa. It moves from people who are easy to love to people who are hard to love, so the feeling grows where it is already strong and then spreads. Sit comfortably, let the body settle for a few breaths, and spend a few minutes on each stage:

1. Yourself. Begin with your own wish to be happy. The Visuddhimagga starts here not because you matter most, but because you know at once that you want happiness and fear pain, and this is the feeling you then extend to others. If wishing yourself well brings up grief or resistance, which is common, begin with a benefactor and come back to yourself later.
2. A benefactor. Someone you respect and feel grateful to, such as a teacher or a person who once helped you. Recall what they did for you and wish them well.
3. A dear friend. Someone you love easily. The Visuddhimagga advises against beginning with a person you are attracted to, where goodwill can slide into desire, or with someone who has died.
4. A neutral person. Someone you see but hardly know, such as a shopkeeper or a neighbour. Wish them well as warmly as you did your friend.
5. A difficult person. Someone who has hurt or annoyed you. Start with someone mildly difficult, not the hardest person in your life. If anger rises, go back to an earlier person until the warmth returns, then try again.
6. All beings. Let the wish spread without limit: the people around you, your town, your country, every direction, all living beings without exception, above, below and all around, as the sutta says.

The Visuddhimagga calls the aim of these stages 'breaking down the barriers' (sīmāsambheda): the goodwill becomes the same for yourself, a dear person, a neutral person and an enemy, with no difference between them. At that point metta meditation can lead into deep concentration; the Visuddhimagga says it can reach the third jhāna, counting the jhānas in four steps. For a short daily practice, five or ten minutes is plenty. In a longer sitting, give more time to whichever stage feels hardest.

Metta meditation phrases

In metta meditation most people repeat a few short wishes silently, letting each one settle before the next. Any words that are simple and sincere will do. These come from the Pali tradition:

• May I be happy; may I be free from suffering (ahaṁ sukhito homi, niddukkho homi).
• May all beings be free from enmity, free from ill will, free from distress, and look after themselves with ease (sabbe sattā averā hontu, abyāpajjhā hontu, anīghā hontu, sukhī attānaṁ pariharantu).
• May all be happy and safe; may all beings be happy at heart (sukhino va khemino hontu, sabbasattā bhavantu sukhitattā), from the Karaṇīya Metta Sutta.

For another person, change 'I' to 'you'. The full chant, with the lines for compassion, gladness and equanimity, is on the page spreading loving-kindness. Some people prefer an image to words, such as picturing the person smiling and at ease. Use whatever keeps the wish alive, and drop anything that turns into mechanical recitation.

The eleven benefits of metta meditation

In the Mettā Sutta of the Numbered Discourses (AN 11.15) the Buddha lists eleven benefits for one whose release of the heart through loving-kindness has been cultivated, developed, made much of, made a vehicle and a basis, carried out, consolidated and well undertaken. That long condition matters: the list describes metta meditation developed to maturity, not a few sessions. In plain translation, the eleven are:

1. Sukhaṁ supati: you sleep at ease.
2. Sukhaṁ paṭibujjhati: you wake at ease.
3. Na pāpakaṁ supinaṁ passati: you have no bad dreams.
4. Manussānaṁ piyo hoti: people hold you dear.
5. Amanussānaṁ piyo hoti: non-human beings hold you dear.
6. Devatā rakkhanti: deities watch over you.
7. Nāssa aggi vā visaṁ vā satthaṁ vā kamati: fire, poison and weapons do not harm you.
8. Tuvaṭaṁ cittaṁ samādhiyati: your mind quickly becomes concentrated.
9. Mukhavaṇṇo vippasīdati: your face looks clear and serene.
10. Asammūḷho kālaṁ karoti: you die without confusion.
11. Uttari appaṭivijjhanto brahmalokūpago hoti: if you penetrate no further, you are reborn in the Brahma world.

Some of these anyone can check in their own life: easier sleep, a softer face, a mind that settles sooner, warmer relations with others. Others, such as protection by deities and from fire, poison and weapons, belong to the world view of the ancient texts. They are translated here as the sutta gives them; they are not a promise of physical safety, and metta meditation is no substitute for ordinary care or medical help. The last refers to rebirth in the Brahma world, the realm from which the divine abidings (brahmavihāra) take their name, for one who develops metta deeply but does not go on to full awakening.

Near and far enemies of metta

The Visuddhimagga gives each divine abiding a near enemy, a state that resembles it and slips in unnoticed, and a far enemy, its plain opposite. For loving-kindness the near enemy is greed or attachment (rāga): like metta, it sees the good in a person, but it wants to hold on. The far enemy is ill will (byāpāda). In brief, the other three pairs are:

• Compassion (karuṇā): near enemy, worldly grief, being swamped by sorrow; far enemy, cruelty.
• Gladness (muditā): near enemy, worldly elation; far enemy, discontent and aversion (arati).
• Equanimity (upekkhā): near enemy, the indifference of not knowing; far enemy, greed and resentment.

The near enemy is the practical lesson. If metta meditation leaves you longing for a particular person or anxious about them, it has turned into attachment; widen the circle and come back to a plain wish for their welfare. If it leaves you angry, return to an easier person. The Visuddhimagga gives many further ways to deal with resentment toward a difficult person, such as recalling their good qualities and reflecting that each of us owns our own kamma, our actions.

Metta meditation in daily life and in insight practice

Metta meditation does not stop when the timer rings. The sutta's instruction, standing, walking, sitting or lying down, points to small uses through the day: a silent wish for the person ahead of you in a queue, for a colleague before a difficult meeting, for yourself after a mistake. It is also the standard remedy for ill will, one of the five hindrances, so many meditators spend a few minutes on it at the start of any sitting when the mind is irritable.

Metta meditation is mainly a calm practice: the Visuddhimagga counts it among the forty subjects for concentration and calls it useful everywhere. It also supports insight. A mind steeped in goodwill can look at its own anger, fear and craving without harsh self-judgement, which makes them easier to see as they really are, passing states that are not a self. In the Karaṇīya Metta Sutta itself, the verses on love end with a person who does not cling to views, is virtuous, is endowed with vision and has removed desire for sensual pleasures: a picture of calm and insight working together.

Based on: Karaṇīya Metta Sutta (Snp 1.8) · Mettā Sutta (AN 11.15) · Visuddhimagga, by Buddhaghosa